


We Deserved Better

by pieceofshir



Series: Lights Will Guide You Home [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, in this house we deny that finale, tw: Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:48:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pieceofshir/pseuds/pieceofshir
Summary: Inspired by my tumblr post “Torn between denying the finale, Or a soft destiel epilogue, Or Cas just punching Dean on sight and screaming at him a la "I rebelled for this" and Dean screaming right back and them having their first truly real conversation”And the I decided all three is fine.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Lights Will Guide You Home [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028844
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	We Deserved Better

“Where is he?” Dean demanded as soon as he realized what was going on. Jack looked around nervously. “Dean, don’t you want to... I don’t know, rest? See some old friends? You were just ki-”  
“Kid, now is not the time.” Vaguely, Dean remembered that this was technically God he was snapping at, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I know you brought him back, so where’s the-”  
“Dean Winchester!” A familiar voice roared behind him. Jack cast an absolutely terrified look at him, and disappeared in the time between one blink and the next. Dean turned to see Castiel storming toward him. He was still in his vessel, but... there was an aura of other around him, and he had a faint blue glow, his grace much closer to the surface. Dean couldn’t help but be thankful he was already dead, because wow, Cas gave a whole new definition to the phrase ‘if looks could kill’. He steeled himself, remembering that he was also pretty damn pissed at the angel. “Cas-”  
Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Cas punching him square in the face, sending him flying backwards. “Get up!” Cas snarled, and Dean scrambled to upright himself. “What the fuck, Dean.” Cas looked like he was debating hitting him again. “I left you for two weeks. Two. Weeks!” Dean opened his mouth, but Castiel cut him off. “What really happened?” Cas demanded, anger dissipating from his eyes, “Because I know Dean Winchester wasn’t bested by a couple of... mime-pires.” Dean looked down, rocking back and forth slightly on his feet. “Is there, uh,” he began nervously, “Can we maybe go somewhere that isn’t in the middle of some random field?” Cas sighed, and with a snap of his fingers, they were in a house Dean had never seen before. “Where are we?” Dean glanced around at the house, nodding his approval. “Our house.” Cas grumbled, moving into the kitchen. Dean did a double take. “Ours?” He asked, following the angel. “Cas, ours?”  
“Yes, ours!” Cas snapped, turning back to him. “Or it would’ve been, if you weren’t such a fucking idiot.” Dean couldn’t help but flinch at his harsh tone. “This is an exact replica of a house in east Texas, just outside Athens. It would’ve been ours if you’d just-”  
“If I’d just what?” Dean interjected, “Just kept on keeping on?” Just pretended that everything was fine when my best friend was gone? Just continued acting like I was okay when you said- when you said that to me, and then fucked off and died?” He pointed an accusatory finger at Cas as everything he’d felt when he first opened his eyes hit him all at once. “You left me!” He cried, ignoring the burn of tears brimming behind his eyes. “You- you told me you love me, and you just-” He cut himself off, turning away. “Dean,” Cas took a step forward. “No.” Dean held a hand up, “No, I need to say this. Just... just give me a minute.”  
Dean took a few moments to gather himself, before turning back, looking Castiel straight in the eye. “I didn’t know you could feel the way I do.” He admitted. “She- when Hester told me, she said my touch corrupted you. I thought, God, I don’t even know what I thought. Uriel told me you like me. Meg told me you like me. Hell, you even told me you loved me before. I don’t- I didn’t, didn’t know that you could feel love like that. Or if you did, that it couldn’t be the same kind I felt for you.” There were tears in his eyes, but he continued. “I’ve never been good with feelings. You know that. But I- Cas, I need you. You’re family. Cas...” he struggled with what to say next.  
“You’d rather have me, cursed or not?” Cas offered with a small smile. Dean huffed a laugh. “Yeah.” He breathed, “I’d rather have you.”  
Cas nodded. He understood. He always understood, sometimes even before Dean.  
“Dean,” Cas took a step closer, “Tell me what really happened.”   
All at once, the weight of it all became too much. Dean collapsed forward, and Cas caught him easily, gathering him close to his chest. “I couldn’t take it anymore.” He whispered, burying his face into Cas’ neck. “I saw an out, and I took it. ‘M a fuckin’ coward, Cas.” Castiel held him while he shook, and a few silent tears slipped down his cheeks. “You’re not a coward, Dean.” He gently guided Dean to sit down by the island. “Did you not listen to anything I said?” He wiped a tear away from Dean’s face. “You are selfless, and kind, and caring, and good. Dean, you’re so good.” Cas pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s hair.  
Dean felt a shift in the air, and practically jumped backwards when he saw the way Cas was looking at him. The angel’s eyes were wide with horror. “Dean,” he whispered, eyes unfocused and glassy, “Dean, please wake up.” Dean looked around, confused. “Cas, I am awake.” He stood, beginning to back away slowly. Cas’ eyes remained fixed on the spot he had been occupying, unblinking. “Please, Dean.” And wow, it was weird to hear his voice so full of emotion while his face stayed completely still. “Not yet. Not like this.” Dean heard a noise behind him, and whirled around to see- Sam, but... not his Sam. This Sam was somewhere around 8 years old, and he was looking up at him with that damn puppy face. “Why’d you do it, Dean?” But before Dean could answer, Sammy disappeared in a cloud of gold smoke.  
Gold smoke.  
“Jack!” Dean called out, standing and walking into the living room, “Get your feathery ass out hear!” Dean glanced at where Castiel had been, only to find that he had also vanished. “Jack!”  
“Please don’t yell at me.” Jack appeared before him, looking apologetic. “What the hell is this?” Dean tried to keep his voice down. “Where am I?”  
Jack hesitated. “You are in heaven,” Jack admitted. He shrugged sheepishly, “we, I- we wanted to let you rest for a while, while your body heals, and then... break it to you slowly, I guess.”  
“Break what, kid.” Dean tried to keep his voice even. God-Jack said not to yell, he’d do his best. Jack looked up at him nervously. “You’re just not quite... dead... yet?” Dean balled his hands up into fists at his side, silently counting to ten before releasing them. “Was that really Cas?” He finally asked, sighing in relief when Jack nodded. “He’s with Sam, they haven’t left your side since you came out of surgery.” Jack took a step closer, “Sam wanted us to make sure you were... comfortable.”  
“So Cas decided to punch me in the face?” He couldn’t help but chuckle, because yeah, that sounded like his angel all right. “Dean,” Jack sighed, taking a seat on the couch and motioning for Dean to do the same. “You still have a choice to make.” Dean nodded, though he wasn’t happy about it. “What...” he hesitated, “what would happen. If I stayed?” Jack curled up next to him, looking all too much like a little boy with his father, and Dean let out a little huff, reaching out and pulling Jack to rest his head on his shoulder the way Mary used to do for him. “If you stay,” Jack said, “Sam will stop hunting. He’ll settle down with Eileen, have a daughter named Valerie and a son named Liam, he’ll live to be ninety two, with six grandchildren. He’ll be okay. They’ll all be okay.” Dean nodded, carding his fingers through Jack’s hair like he always did when the kid was stressed. “And if I go back?” Jack tensed. “It’s alright.” Dean said softly, “It’s alright.”  
“‘M sorry.” Jack turned slightly, pushing his face into Dean’s sleeve, “I know this can’t be easy for you.” He paused, “Or, I’m sorry that it is.” Dean rested his head on Jack’s. “Do I...” Dean whispered after a while, “does it have to be now?”  
They sat in silence for a few minutes. “I’m afraid so.” Jack finally said.  
“Dean.” The two sat up at the sound of Cas’ voice behind them. “You’re not actually thinking about it, right?”  
Dean turned to see him standing, blue eyes full of hurt. “Jack.” Dean sighed, “Wanna give us a minute?” Jack nodded silently, giving Dean’s arm a gentle squeeze before he disappeared. “We could have a forever together.” Dean turned back around, gazing out a window to the beautiful front lawn. “Wasn’t that always the plan, on some level? You and me, enjoying the peace?” He felt the couch dip as Cas took the seat where Jack had been, though where Jack had curled into him for comfort, Cas sat stiffly, staring straight ahead. The only indicator that he even knew Dean was there was his hand that slid over, to Dean’s, gripping it tightly. “If that is what you want.” Cas said slowly, unblinking, “Then of course we can. I’d follow you anywhere, I think I’ve proven that.” Dean bumped their shoulders together in an attempt to get the angel to loosen up. “Don’t we deserve it?” He asked quietly, “After everything we’ve been through, the soft epilogue, the happily ever after, don't we deserve better?” He saw Cas’ eyes soften. “It wasn’t meant to be like this.” He whispered, “You were going to-” he cut himself off, looking down guiltily as Dean leaned in closer. “I was going to...” he gestured for Cas to continue, but he shook his head. “I can’t.” Dean nodded in understanding, squeezing his hand. “Cas,” He lifted his free hand, turning the angel’s chin so they were facing each other, “Forever won’t be worth it if you’re like this the whole-”  
“No!” Cas cut him off sharply, startling them both. “No,” he repeated, “whatever your choice, I will be with you, and I will be happy.” Dean wasn’t quite sure which one of them he was talking to. “I do not care where we are, so long as we are together, do you understand me?” He waited for Dean to nod before he continued, “For once in your life, you make the choice that is right for you.” Dean stared at him, his entire being glowing with power, his forever.  
In one swift movement, he pulled Cas in by his tie, sealing their lips together. It was everything their first kiss should be, all the lingering stares and coming back to each other and the hope and the promises of forever all crashing into one perfect moment somewhere that wasn’t quite heaven but not quite Earth either, and Dean made his choice.  
——  
He opened his eyes into Castiel’s, and he smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean pick your own ending unless you think he stayed in heaven bc then you’re wrong.  
> Anyway I’m @pieceofshir on tumblr and I’m in need of more friends so come hang out


End file.
